Trigger Warning: This story discusses sexual violence, which may be distressing for some. Reader discretion is advised.
HOUSTON — April marks Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), a time to honor and amplify the voices of survivors in our communities.
According to Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), an American is sexually assaulted every 68 seconds. Sexual assault takes many forms, but one truth remains constant: it’s never the victim’s fault. Sexual violence is a broad term that includes crimes such as rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse.
Child sexual abuse involves any sexual activity with a minor, and no child can consent to such acts. When a perpetrator commits this crime, they inflict harm that can leave wounds lasting a lifetime. A survivor once shared with me, “The abuser may do time, but the victim serves a life sentence.” Child sexual abuse doesn’t always require physical contact; it could include exposing oneself to a child, inappropriate touching, sexual intercourse, or even acts like sex trafficking.
Tonya Hutchinson, affectionately known as Lady T, knows this pain all too well as a survivor of sexual abuse. For years, she endured the torment of hidden scars inflicted by sexual abuse at the hands of close relatives. Tragically, statistics show that 93% of child sexual abuse victims know their abuser.
Lady T’s powerful story unfolds in her book, Invisible Chains Release Me. Through this testimony, she shares her path to healing from the invisible chains of trauma. Her story is one of resilience, self-discovery, and faith, offering hope to anyone seeking freedom from the pain of their past.
Q&A with Lady T
What were some of the invisible chains you carried before your healing journey? Invisible chains are the burdens we carry that others can’t see. Things like rejection, self-hatred, bitterness, and unforgiveness weigh us down, even if we look fine to the world. I know this firsthand—I kept a smile on my face while carrying the heavy weight of unforgiveness, especially toward myself.
What were some of the emotional, physical, or mental challenges you faced as a result of the sexual abuse? After the abuse, I was overwhelmed by guilt, shame, and a deep sense of self-hatred. Anger took root in me, turning into bitterness, and I struggled to trust anyone—including God—to keep me safe. I felt so unclean after it first happened that I scrubbed my skin raw, leaving bruises as if I could wash away what had been done to me. Inside, I was a ticking time bomb, and my outbursts were so intense that people started calling me crazy.
It takes courage to share such personal trauma publicly. What motivated you to share your story openly? To be honest, I kept feeling this little nudge inside me. God will lead you as to how to share your testimony. Listen to Him for guidance and direction. For some, He leads them to speak to the youth; for others, it’s through a book or at a conference. For me, it all started when my friend, Tari Malveaux-Glivens from the Breaking the Silence Movement, opened up and shared her story. Hearing her truth gave me the courage to face my fears of judgment and take that first step. I realized that getting through tough times sometimes takes more than just prayer; it takes action, too. As it says in James 2:26, “Faith without works is dead.” I want to see more people break free from the invisible chains that hold them back, even when no one else can see them.
Talk to parents/guardians about the importance of not being too busy to listen to their children. As a survivor, I want parents to understand how crucial it is to really listen to their children. When I tried to speak up about the abuse I endured, I felt like no one was hearing me. Life gets busy, and distractions are everywhere, but there’s nothing more important than tuning in to your child. They’re a gift from God, and it’s our job to protect them. If a child opens up to someone they trust and feels ignored or dismissed, it can leave deep scars. Speaking from my own experience, that kind of dismissal can lead to trust issues, anxiety, and struggles with self-expression later on. Listen to your children. It matters more than you know.
Beyond prayer and faith in Christ, can you walk us through the practical steps or methods that also helped bring you closer to healing? Healing looks different for everyone. For me, it meant surrounding myself with people I could trust, especially since my abuse happened when I was young. I had to face my pain, give it to God, and learn how to forgive—not just others but myself, too. Healing is a step-by-step process, and I kept moving forward, even when it was hard. One thing I want everyone to know is that you don’t have to do it alone. There are therapists and counselors who are here to support you, and they’re a blessing. Like my good friend Frances Germany, LPC, says, “It’s okay to have Jesus and a therapist.”
Did your experience of trauma affect your relationship with God, leading to feelings of anger or bitterness toward Him? If so, how did you work through those emotions and restore your faith? I’ll be honest—I used to carry anger towards God for what happened to me. I felt abandoned, ashamed, and caught in a cycle of hurting myself just to cope. I thought, “Why would God love someone like me?” Forgiving the people who hurt me came easier than forgiving myself. I had to ask God to show me how He saw me. And in that moment, it was like He spoke directly to my heart, saying, “It’s not your fault. Forgive yourself. I love you, daughter.” From there, I felt led to pray for others who were hurting, and I witnessed God heal people from deep physical and emotional wounds. That’s when it hit me—if God could heal them, He would heal me, too. Over time, I allowed Him to take my pain and shape it into my purpose.
SAAM is a time to remind those affected by sexual violence that they are not alone. One way we, as a community, can help is by learning about sexual abuse and its impact on survivors.
RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE) in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country. Visit RAINN.org for resources or support.
“To anyone suffering in silence, you can overcome the traumas you have been through by taking your power back through the forgiveness process. Remember, forgiveness is not for the other person; it is the formula to break chains of anger, bitterness, and self-hatred,” shares Lady T. “I’m living proof that when you walk with God and commit to your healing, He can turn even your darkest moments into something beautiful. Remember, you are His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).”
To purchase your copy of Invisible Chains Release Me, visit Amazon.
Source: RAINN
Dawn Paul, also known as The Dr. Dawn®, is an award-winning media personality, public speaker, certified life coach, author, and entrepreneur. She has extensive experience in writing, reporting, and editing for the Black press.
